For many bloggers consistent updates is an important part of the process. For my own personal goal when I took on the challenge of writing this blog, I wanted to stick to a consistent schedule. The past two weeks I fell off the horse, and this week will be no different. While the last two weeks I had been distracted by a game design contest entry I am working on, yesterday put the rest of the week in a loop.
Yesterday I received the news that my brother was struck by a stray bullet in his apartment and passed away.
Some may wonder why I would blog this subject, and I questioned this myself, but felt it important to. We all have to find our own way to cope with tragedy and I figure I can try my best with words on this page. Moreover, maybe someday these words will help someone else cope who is in a similar situation.
My brother was a quiet man. He loved Sci-Fi, Comic Books and read many fantasy novels. I actually introduced him to comic books when we were younger and he introduced me to the world of gaming. My brother was older than I was, five years to be exact, and we enjoyed the typical brother relationship. The type of brotherly relationship where the younger brother was the brat and loved antagonizing the older by being a tag-along brother. Of course, time moves on and we all grow up. He eventually moved to Reading.
When I got the news that he had been hit by a stray bullet from a gang related shooting, it was not shocking. After the news started getting back to my family I found out the full extent of what happened. I learned he was alone at the time and there was no one by his side when he passed away. I personally went through the emotions (and still have many to go through) of shock, anger and grief. This is all part of the human process and one that we will all face in our lifetime. Death is natural as much as we do not like it.
My only hope is that those who did shoot the bullet would have heard the news of my brother’s death. That they could hopefully learn from the consequence of their actions and grow. I truly have no hatred in my heart for those that caused this and what law enforcement does is not my concern. I can only have hope that only good can come from this. Wishing hatred and vengeance on others will never solve or change what has happened. For the healing of all involved, the best outcome is to grow and learn.
For now I’m going to sign off for the week with this song that I have always found a comfort in hard times.
You slipped from my arms, I knew you had to go
Such a heavy heart, who could hope to hold
And I know where you’re going, and that’s the hardest part
No matter where tonight ends, you won’t escape your broken heart
Stay a while
Helpless for the words, and it tightens up the air
It’s not what you deserve, it’s not for lack of care
Inside of me is screaming out, I’m praying for my prayers
Distracting and unworthy of each and every burning tear
Do I see God in all of this, maybe all along
It’s just that we’re so small, and simply not as strong
Strong like wings of silver, and feathers made of gold
To carry heavy hearts, to cover all our helpless souls
To cover all of us
Under wings of Gold and Silver sometimes we have to hide
For shelter from this bitter winter at least tonight
If it were mine to give I’d give you your own time
Turn it back or forward whatever you decide
Stay a while